The Gay Man.  

 

This man has become a good friend of mine who I talk to nearly every day. But it didn’t start out like that.

I was on a training course in another city. They had put me up in a hotel alone for three nights. The training course was from 9.30-5 each day (now I don’t need to tell any of the other single mums out there) this felt was like a holiday for me. Three child free nights, in a different city, to a kinky girl like me I was excited at the prospects that lay ahead. Also excited just to have some alone time.

I’m a member of a hook up site and advertised that I was in a hotel alone and waited to see who messaged. I also had a profile on a certain gay app that me and D used to use to find Bi men which I updated. The first night I got in late and hooked up with someone but it was uneventful and forgettable…. I got chatting to the gay man on my second night. I had explained that I was a woman and looking for nsa fun. We exchanged pleasantries and pictures. He explained that he’d never been with a woman before and that recently it had started to creep into his fantasies. I liked how honest and upfront he was, he hinted at a kinkier side which I was interested in learning more about.

The gay man is very tall with ginger hair. He’s slim with an average body and a pretty cock (I love the colour of it). He’s very cute and easy to get along with and not my usual type. He is also a front man in a band (a funny coincidence). He’s young and since he had never been with a woman before I was at first reluctant to meet up with him. I didn’t want to arrange my night and have it fall through or him chicken out. So I blew him off that night for two 21 year olds who wanted a threesome, something that he has not let me forget and never will I imagine! Though I have reminded him he would’ve done exactly the same if he was presented with two young fit men who wanted a threesome!

We chatted on and off all the next day and by the end I was very keen to meet up with him. I was still worried he would cancel, he went quiet for a while and I was concerned that my last child free night wouldn’t have any sex. Anyway I was out having a drink with someone off the training course and was a bit merry. He was too shy to come in the pub so I said I’d meet him outside.

I’ll never forget how he looked that night. I saw him walk up and pull his phone out to text that he was here. He stood leaning on a lamppost dressed all in black, skinny jeans with a leather jacket on. Hands in pockets, shoulders hunched. He looked so cute and genuine, I couldn’t wait to meet him properly.

We walked and talked, about sex, our experiences and we exchanged stories. We bought some booze to drink in the room. He was nervous and a bit shaky, he downed two drinks straight away. One of the other reasons that I was reluctant to meet him originally was that he told me sexually his personality was submissive, like myself. Which could’ve potentially caused a clash. I didn’t know what to expect that night but I knew if anything was going to happen I had to initiate it. So I laid him down and straddled him. Took my dress off and put his hands on my boobs. I enjoyed taking control. He was turned on by it and we had some long kisses which hopefully helped calm his nerves. The main thing he’d been fantasising about was eating pussy. I wasn’t holding out much hope of him being amazing in bed. After all, he was young, had zero experience with women and submissive. But, Oh. My. God. This man made me cum more times in the space of 2 hours than any other man before then. He just knew what to do, he listened to what I liked and what I was responding to. I think people that are highly sexual have a knack for giving pleasure especially the submissive ones.

We had talked about penetrative sex previously and he had shared that he doesn’t top men as he generally wants to cum straight away. The first time he put it inside me he had to stop after two thrusts. Now with anyone else this might’ve frustrated me but with him I just wanted to have fun exploring each other and was happy to play in other ways. We had a bit of sex, oral, kissing, talking and just repeated. This went on for a total of 3 hours and 5 orgasms later we’d cemented our “fuck buddy” relationship. He was happy he could satisfy me and I was happy he just didn’t run away at the sight of a woman. I got to try properly edging a man which I’d not done before.

I definitely wanted to do that again and so did he, he enjoyed fucking, he said it felt like nothing else. After when he joked that he “likes it when sex gets hot and sweaty, how wet my pussy got, loves cum from men and watersports….I’m starting to think I just like being wet!” I knew we’d be a good kinky match for the future.

Now this is the only man I’ve slept with regularly and feel guilty about not telling him about the HIV. Not because I feel he’s at any sort of risk. More because we’ve become so close over time that I want him to know that part of me, but don’t because of the fear of rejection. We have had three separate conversations about HIV and he told me that he slept with a poz man who was undetectable without protection. I could’ve disclosed my status  any of those times. I didn’t. I don’t want to lose him out of my life and fear I’ve left it too long to tell him and continue to have a friendship. I guess I’ll just see how I feel over time.

Since that first encounter I’ve met up with him on several occasions. We had another hotel meet, he’s been to mine, we’ve fucked in my car and once tried to fuck outside….. I say tried because when I was on my knees someone’s car pulled up right next to us. It was so funny, walking past the unknown car with absolutely no reason to be in a bush for anything other than what we were doing.

We’ve messaged almost constantly, had endless conversations about sex and relationships. He’s had his heart broken during the time we’ve known each other (the guy was a prick!) I’ve had a very long and on-going complicated breakup to deal with. Set in motion very much by meeting him. Now originally I never expected anything more than one night this man, I was not having day dreams of ‘converting’ him or anything. I did not see us having a relationship (he’s gay!) but I had such fun with him and got on with him so well it made me realise. Why am I sticking with something that’s shit when there is more fun to be had out there?

I think I will tell him about me when I feel the timing is right. I don’t think he’ll reject me. Maybe it’ll be different between us? Better I hope. I see lots more mutual fun for us in our future.

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Author: pozwoman

Just your average HIV positive woman blogging about her life.

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