The Front Man.

During my relationship with D we used to chat to other men online this was solely to try and arrange threesomes, but developed into just chatting and exchanging pictures and videos. This is how I met The Front man.

The front man is a young man who’s in a band. He is completely the type pf man I easily fall for. He is good looking, he knows it but is not too engrossed in himself. He is hard working and sees no shame in working hard at whatever it is to achieve. He exudes confidence, something that I so often look for in a man as I myself used to lack confidence in so many ways. He was funny, friendly, flirty and seemed to be extremely attracted to me. We chatted on and off for months, meeting only once in a non-sexual circumstance. I did manage to sneak a naughty kiss though and I enjoyed feeling him go hard as we made out, even though it was brief.

The front man is kinky and loves sex. He is very good. I once told him that he fucks like an older, experienced man but with the stamina of someone his age. A lovely combination. He is also an old romantic at heart. We have this in common. I enjoyed that he had a foot fetish, I liked sending him pictures of my feet as a side note I’ve always liked my feet and thought that were quite pretty! It felt good to have someone else enjoy them.

It didn’t look like we were going to meet up. I’d put him out of my mind but then he’d send me a cheeky picture and I’d want him all over again. I often call him a tease. When we did meet he told me he loves the compliments and attention I give him and I said vice versa.

Fate was on my side one evening when we were both free. We had both been out in town separately and messaging, then he asked to come over. After all the build up I became nervous, something that doesn’t usually happen and ran around tidying up and preparing.

The second he walked in he was so complimentary; he couldn’t keep his hands of me. This made me a bit overwhelmed and shy. He took my clothes off in the kitchen and just stared and played with my breasts and ass through a patterned lace/fishnet style mini dress I had on under my normal clothes. He was a bit drunk, I was also, I made him toast because he said he needed it for the night.

We went upstairs and we had a really fun, sexy time. The front man has a beautiful cock. Thick, big but not too big that it becomes hard to play with. He told me a lot that night that girls his age are not like me (there is an 7 year age difference between us) that he cannot talk openly about sex and his interests with them. For example he had some fluff on his dick when he took his boxers off so without saying anything I just got a baby wipe to clean it off. That small act he was amazed by, saying that would’ve embarrassed younger girls. I suppose I understand. When I was younger, because of my own insecurities I would’ve been embarrassed to bring it up. As it would mean telling them they had some fault (not matter how minor that was) leaving you open to rejection.  I loved to play with his body and tease him.

That night contained a lot of firsts for him and one first for me (I had never given a foot job before then). Between the sex and foreplay we sat and chatted about everything, my past, his past.  He showed me his favourite porn and I talked about my likes and dislikes.

But that wasn’t the best time with him. The best was the second time. Both being sober just made the whole experience better. The second time was unusual. I had told him I was going on a date the night before and I was nervous and he sent me the sweetest message describing how awesome I was to give me a confidence boost. I think (whether it was known or unknown to him) he liked the idea that he had more control over my body than the person I was with the night before. And to tell the truth, he did.

I would describe the second time as mind-blowing. The kind of sex when you think back on it, it makes your tummy flip and your pussy throb. I’ve met the front man a few times over the past year, there was a gap in the middle where he started seeing someone and they’ve all been a lot of fun. So far, hes never let me down.

The sad part of being with the front man is that in no way does he see me as having any potential as someone to date. He’s met someone new again and says that when they become “official” he’ll stop meeting other women. He talks about the other girls hes seeing or fucking when he comes over, it used to piss me off a bit, that I was so far removed from his life he’d never consider me as a partner. Now it doesn’t bother me, I’ve learnt to not want him and hardly message him at all now.

I know that we wouldn’t have really been compatible. He’s younger, hes very busy and he now lives in a different city. He had no desire to become a step-dad although he did say my daughter was the cutest (she totally is!). To be honest I don’t know what I envisaged our relationship to be. Originally I was just expecting a fuck but when I met him he was so nice I fell for him a little bit and wanted more. Did I want the full on exclusivity? Not really. I just wanted to spend more time with him; I wanted to be the first one he called if he was horny.

During that first night I schooled him about HIV. I did not admit that I had it, I didn’t have the confidence to talk about it back then. STD’s came up in conversation and I explained to him what undetectable was and how living with HIV was different to what most people thought about it. I didn’t think I’d see him again once he started dating the first woman so never did tell him. Now, I dunno, when is the right time? I very rarely see him, should I tell him and potentially stop that once every couple of months amazing sex session I really enjoy because of his preconceived notions about HIV? A part of me says I should, a bigger parts says that there is no point when there is no transmission risk involved.

I wonder how he’d feel if he knew. I think he would fall under the category of “wouldn’t have touched me with a barge pole” I’d told him beforehand, but I don’t really know as we’re not very close. I hope that since talking to me about HIV he has a different opinion of it. I also hope that if he found out I’m HIV positive from seeing some of the public stuff I do he wouldn’t freak out or be angry. But you never know how people will react.

We still exchange messages occasionally and hey, if his band gets famous I can say when he’s on TV. I slept with that guy….. 🙂


Author: pozwoman

Just your average HIV positive woman blogging about her life.

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